Today as I was sitting on the top of the hill having fallen for the 20Th time I just stopped
I didn't want to get up, I just wanted to lay there and be done with it.
I could see all across Calgary and see mountains and I was sore and I was tired
Somehow sitting on this hill brought me to my knees.
God decided that was the time to speak to me and humble me.
I began to see today as the way life has been. Always falling and having to get back up.
Seeing the end in sight but knowing that there is still the chance of falling
Having to stand up past all the exhaustion and pain and to keep going.
Because I could slide the rest of the way down the hill but then how would I ever learn
How would I ever fix what was wrong if I didn't get back up.
Is that anyway to live, to slide thorugh life. Knowing I won't get hurt but missing all the adventure that comes with the risk.
I asked for help and I knew it would be there for me but how would I learn to do it on my own
As much as God wants to help me up when I fall he knows to let me get up on my own sometimes no matter how much it hurts
So I sat on a ski hill being that annoying snowboarder in the middle of the run not moving for 45 min crying and leaning on the shoulder of a girl who must be as crazy as me with unending patience. She sat and listened as I talked about my struggles and let out all my hurt.
God was able to use an everyday situation to once again bring me to him. To reveal himself to me. He can use my pain of learning to snowboard as a way to hold me close. To love me.