Search my heart O Lord and know me
I want to be able to say those words and mean them
I want you to be able to look into every room of my heart and clear out the dust
But I am holding back, we both know that
There is one door left
In the corner there is one room I have spent the past 5 years ignoring
I have given so much up to you Father, so much I have worked through
I don't know how to open that room
There is nothing pleasant in there
The shame that has been building up is seeping out the cracks
It has begun to affect everything around it
There is an infection in my heart
It will hurt too much to remove
Please just let me bear this shame, let me keep this to myself
I don't know how to say this outloud
Lord I gave most of it up to you
Just let me keep this dark corner to myself
Let me wallow
Must I expose every part of myself, are you going to scrub me raw
I feel stings of pain as your gentle hands work over such wounded flesh
This broken piece of my heart
I know people will understand, I know there won't be judgement
But I gave this part of myself to someone who never deserved a piece of my heart
How do I get that back? How do I reclaim what belongs to you God?
How does something that happened so long ago have so much power over me
I have given this shame up to you over and again yet it always resettles over my heart
This part of my past is leaking into the rest of my heart
If I don't give it up now it will infect all of me
Is there anyway to remove this sore without any pain?
Take this from me Lord, I can't hold on any longer
I don't know how to give this up, I don't even know what to say
But it is time to take this broken heart and make it whole again
I want to be able to say those words and mean them
I want you to be able to look into every room of my heart and clear out the dust
But I am holding back, we both know that
There is one door left
In the corner there is one room I have spent the past 5 years ignoring
I have given so much up to you Father, so much I have worked through
I don't know how to open that room
There is nothing pleasant in there
The shame that has been building up is seeping out the cracks
It has begun to affect everything around it
There is an infection in my heart
It will hurt too much to remove
Please just let me bear this shame, let me keep this to myself
I don't know how to say this outloud
Lord I gave most of it up to you
Just let me keep this dark corner to myself
Let me wallow
Must I expose every part of myself, are you going to scrub me raw
I feel stings of pain as your gentle hands work over such wounded flesh
This broken piece of my heart
I know people will understand, I know there won't be judgement
But I gave this part of myself to someone who never deserved a piece of my heart
How do I get that back? How do I reclaim what belongs to you God?
How does something that happened so long ago have so much power over me
I have given this shame up to you over and again yet it always resettles over my heart
This part of my past is leaking into the rest of my heart
If I don't give it up now it will infect all of me
Is there anyway to remove this sore without any pain?
Take this from me Lord, I can't hold on any longer
I don't know how to give this up, I don't even know what to say
But it is time to take this broken heart and make it whole again
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