you beautiful princess

sweet child you are beautiful
i wrote of you as my princess and i still think of you that way
you haunt my dreams and you bring me to my knees
i miss you so. i miss your smile and your giggles
singing with you in whichever language we spoke
i was tied to this earth by you
you were an all consuming flame an overwhelming desire to love you
my sweet princess i think of you daily
i think of our games and i think of your love
i think of holding you in my arms until i felt i could no longer hold you but that didnt matter
no earthly pain or distraction could take away from our moments
of sitting in the dirt or spinning you around
sore muscles, tired eyes and inquisitive looks were nothing to me when i was with you
you were my inspiration
i help back tears when i was with you. dying to give you the world when all i had to offer you was my heart
and in the end i gave you my heart, a piece of it anyway
my heart was broken for what breaks God's heart
i ached for you and through the pain God revealed himself to me
he showed me just a small piece of what he feels for all his children
beautiful princess
as the time passes i wonder what your life has been like
have you lost your innocence? has that smile faded?
when you think of me do you see Jesus in me
was i a light? is there someone there to be a light for you now?
are you loved by someone who doesn't have to leave.
i want to be go back and be with you
i always say i didn't like your country and i didn't enjoy my time but i would do anything if it meant being with you.
if it meant being able to hold you in my arms again
i want to sing with you again
i want to see all that God taught me through you
you are an angel. you bring me light
you shine in my light as a beacon of all that God has
of all his children that need saving
i don't want to be your saviour but to just love you however i can
to come before you with whatever i have and give it all for you
i talk as if you are full of wisdom and small child you are.
in your eyes i see a light that if allowed to grow can shine




"as i smile down at you i am dying inside. dying to take you home with me and give you the world. to give you parents who love you. to sell the clothes off my back for you.
but as i think all this i stop...as God quietly whispers to me that he has so much more love and stored up treasures for his daughter then i could ever imagine.
so as i stand there holding you singing in your ear and thinking about this i realize that God has put me in your life to be a light for you. he has given me the responsibility to be a little piece of Jesus in your life.
as i realize this i shake off all my exhaustion and sing a little louder and act a little crazier and give you all the love i have in my heart.
as i carry you around singing songs in a language you don't understand i stare into your eyes and realize you have captured a little piece of my heart. know that you will always carry me around in those eyes.
you are so beautiful and even when i can't talk to you and i will never see you again, i will always carry you in my heart. as i sit here crying for you i realize just how much a little girl has taught me about love.
i would come back to this country just for you and i would give up all the sleep i want right now just for you.
you are my beautiful princess." (03/03/10)